WOW, I've said it before, but I am officially the worst blogger, but if you like my blog's Facebook page you have an idea of where I've been and where I'm at, currently.
Here's (sort of) the Cliff's Notes version:
I was giving my training all I had. I was feeling stronger than I had EVER been in my life. While I was cursing my coaches out when I had crazy speed or hill workouts I was still giving it my best effort and loving the feeling after each workout ended knowing I was getting closer with each day, workout, and step. I was on my way to my BQ. I will admit my mental wasn't always great....I was stronger than ever before, but was I strong enough? My coach told me I needed to change my mindset. In my mind when I said things like "I'm strong, but am I strong enough?" was like saying I can do this, but keeping this negative spin has me realistic that this may not happened despite my best efforts.
On October 14th, about 5 weeks before the Philly Marathon I felt a pain in my groin about an hour into my 1:20 run. I pushed through but the last 5 minutes were excruciating. My parents tried to get me to go to the hospital but I was convinced it was just muscular and there would be nothing they could do. The next morning I could barely walk so I went to the ER. Like I figured, X-rays showed nothing, but the acute pain led them to believe I had torn/sprained the ligaments connected to my pelvis. I was put on crutches and told to stay off my leg until the pain was gone! RIGHT! ha ha
I had a 1/2 marathon the next weekend and was determined to run it. My coach agreed that I needed to stay off my leg and rest so I said I'd give it the week. My rational brain knew that rest was the best thing, but it was not easily accepted and understood by irrational/stubborn/competitive side ha ha. After about a week I was going crazy being on crutches and not working out AT ALL. I thought I was feeling stronger so I tried to run....I made it about 4 minutes and broke down in tears. My coach tried to explain that I'd still be okay for the marathon and that my ability wasn't just going to disappear after being off for a week or two, but that too was a tough pill to swallow.
My coach sent me to the team chiropractor and massage therapist...they did what they could for the diagnosis I was given at the ER and I felt SOME improvement, but any runs more than 4 minutes had me limping and in RIDICULOUS pain. I was pretty swollen so I thought a cortisone shot was a good idea. I went to my orthopedist who has tried to give me cortisone millions of times for other injuries. Sadly, he was VERY against the shot this time. I was so upset and felt with each turn my chances of not just qualifying but simply running the Philly Marathon were slipping away.
My orthopedist could see my face drop when he said no to the shot (he said the injury was too new and he wasn't even the one to diagnose it, so until he knew what he was dealing with-no shot). He knew the marathon/qualifying was very important to me and he also knows I a bit stubborn so he rushed me in to get an MRI. Most times when this Dr gets results from an MRI he makes you come into the office no matter the results. On November 4th when I picked up the call and he was on the line I knew it was bad news. The minute he said, "Hi Kelly," in a tone you'd use when expressing condolences, my heart dropped. He gently said, "You're out, I'm sorry." I had no idea what that meant at first. He went on to explain that the MRI showed two fractures. I had fractured my pubic ramus and my acetablum (basically I had fractures in my pelvis and hip) Until that point I really hoped I could push through and make this marathon happen' tho in my heart I knew the amount of pain I was in meant my injury was serious.
Part of me was relieved (for lack of a better term) to know that I was doing all I could and regardless of my best intentions this injury was beyond me and I had to accept I was out. Ask my coach, massage therapist, and chiropractor and they will agree that I did NOT take this injury well. Explaining my feelings about being pulled from the marathon to non-athletes in hard. I wasn't upset to be pulled, I was heart broken. I had given my all to getting to this marathon and right when I was within grasping distance it was taken from me.
Exercising is a key part of my existence...I'm not saying that's a great thing or a bad thing, but that's a norm for me. I don't feel right if I don't workout 6 days a week. For lots of people when you become upset you work out to feel better, but when you are upset because of an injury and can't work out to feel better you're a mess......or at least I was. I don't think I can put into words the feelings of sadness, laziness, frustration, etc. that I was experiencing. I was in physical therapy for 6 weeks, 2 or 3 times a week. While that was helping both mentally and physically I was craving more. Injuries for an athlete is a tricky line to walk....you know you need to rest and take it easy, but you want to get back out there and do your thing. (Even thinking back to this to write is tough.) I found myself reading blogs and articles about athletes getting injured and the mental state they were in and what they took from that time. Many said it gave them an opportunity to try something new to occupy that time they would normally be working out. For some, they injury they sustained led them to try a different sport so I got to thinking.....
"The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That’s real glory." - Vince Lombardi
Don't worry you won't have to wait months to know more. Another post is coming soon! :)
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