DNF describes my 12 mile drop down long run for training week 12.
I don't think I mentioned it in my blog but in June I went to the ER because I had numbness/pain down my left arm and and was having a lot of pain/difficulty breathing. To boot, it had been ridiculously humid and putting it all together was the perfect storm making it look like I was having a heart attack....it was a pinched nerve in the perfect spot-ooops and ughhh!
Flash forward through the summer. I had been waking up with weird shoulder/back pain but nothing like the night I went to the ER and nothing I couldn't deal with. Saturday morning wasn't unlike any other morning. I got up at regular time and made myself go back to bed because I had worked a long day the previous day and wasn't in a rush to go anywhere. I finally got up, hydrated, "ate" and was ready to get running by 9:00. I set out on my run and felt a lot of pressure/pain in my shoulder/neck but pushed through. I also was sweating waaaaay more than normal and was finding each step laborious and awful. Then came the chills...CHILLS!!! It was insane heat and humidity and I was running yet I had chills! I thought about how some runs start off tough but get better as you go and tried to let that push me...no such luck! This was NOT happening. Each mile seemed like 5 and at the 6 mile mark instead of saying "I'm 1/2 way there" I was saying, "shit, IDK if I can do another 6." I pressed on....I knew where I had planted water/Gatorade and I knew I needed them badly. (I usually keep a small water with me and barely touch it for the at least 5 miles...today it was gone by mile 3) I got to the spot where I planted a water, but it was GONE!!!!!! I thought maybe I was in the wrong spot...NOPE! I was were I needed to be and my water was gone. I'm not usually this hard up for a drink, but I was today with all the humidity. I decided to talk myself up and down several more hills until my next hidden Gatorade. Thankfully it was there, but it wasn't enough. I knew something was really wrong today. I tired to talk myself up but it wasn't working. I tried to push all negative thoughts out of my mind, but it was more than that. I was light headed/dizzy, dehydrated, having breathing pain, unable to really take a deep breath, with the chills AND I was 3.5 miles from home. I got to the 9 mile mark and knew I was going to pass out if I kept going. I did the unthinkable....I threw in the towel and called my parents! From the time I called them until they picked me up I thought it best to keep walking (mostly bec. I feared passing out in the rd) I made it to about mile marker 10.5.
When my parents got to me, they put me in the car and took me to their house. I felt like the night they had to take me to the ER. I started to legitimately worry I was going to end up in the hospital again. I pounded a water they had for me and continued to shake with chills and sweat like I've never sweat before. I stayed outside (AC would have been too much for me) and fell asleep, in minutes, on some patio furniture. I'd get up drink some water and re-evaluate my pain. Also during this time I went from thinking I was really smart for knowing my body and stopping because it was too much to thinking I was a quitter and should have kept going. I am very hard on myself and the quitting still has me upset the next day even though I know stopping was the right thing to do. I slept most of the day Saturday, but did have to work at night. I had aches, pains, fatigue greater than after my 16 mile run, heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, and a cranky attitude for quitting and for letting it bother me so much. All in all it was a terrible run/day. The scariest part was the dehydration. I drank, easily, a gallon of water from the time my parents picked me up until 6:00pm. I used the bathroom at 8am and didn't go again until 6:30pm-scary and unhealthy? Yes, but having that happened confirmed I REALLY was unable to finish that run and would have really hurt myself if I had.
All night the OCD in me continued to be int he back of my mind saying, "you skipped 3 miles, Kelly" and while normal people say, "that's ok..you can even skip a training run here and there" I said, "You're getting up tomorrow and running those 3 miles you skipped." Maybe it was against better judgement, but I had to....I got up this morning and struggled through a 3 mile run. I can now, officially say, I have fully completed my 12th week of training! I am 2/3 done with this training! Am I still in pain? Yes, but the training must go on. I'm taking it easy, but I have to keep going and gear up for my 18 mile run on Saturday....only positive thoughts for me moving forward!
There will be more ups and downs I'm sure but in my head the end justifies the means....43 more days until race day!
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