2 WEEKS!!!!!

I can't believe it's 2 weeks until the big day!  I was thinking back to the end of May when I posted that it was 2 weeks until the training started and where I was physically and mentally.
This journey, both physically and mentally, has changed me for the better so no matter how the marathon goes I'm proud of myself!   

Going back and reading my blog has been very cool for me.  When I write I just write (often times how I talk) without much thought (shocking, right? ha ha) so going back to really see things that came out is interesting.  I'm happy I chose to blog about this journey.  I have to say, I get really excited when I meet people who have found my blog, relate to my blog, enjoyed my blog, shared my blog, gave running a try because of my blog...hell, I'm just happy people read it ha ha.

So hear I am 2 weeks away and it still stands...I'm sad it's almost over, but I'm excited to get to Chicago.  I keep reading about the taper weeks where we are cutting back our running significantly to help our bodies rest and repair before the big day and while it's barely been much cut back, it's been a challenge.  In the beginning I thought a 3-5 mile jump was tough and here I am thinking a 20 mile run to a 12 mile was tough.  It's crazy how your perspective changes!
I've realized just how mentally and physically strong I am.  I never thought I'd be able to do a 20 mile run (I took a wrong turn and actually did 21 ha ha) on a random Saturday morning, but I did it and felt great!  To date, I have run 405 miles in training runs!  I still have 30 miles of training before I go out to earn my 26.2 car magnet ha ha!  It's both incredible to think and easy to understand how I've been able to run what I've run. 
I've read and experienced how runs can go from bad to worse in seconds-not physically, but mentally.  Once you let the negative thoughts come into your head you're done so (as I've mentioned) I've been really focusing on positive thinking and even shared this link on my blog Facebook page about mantras.  Check it out....not just for running.
I am organized and a list maker so things like making my packing list and starting to set things out for Chicago has also helped me stay positive and excited while I'm struggling with, "It's almost over..what am I going to do Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturdays when I don't have training runs?"
My goals for the marathon moved all over the place throughout my training. 
My goals were: finish -> don't have a heart attack -> sub 4 hours, and since my 20 mile...er 21 mile run it has moved to more seriously, "maybe you can qualify for the Boston marathon."  That's where I'm at today.  Am I holding myself to it and keeping that as my end all, be all?  No, but over the last few weeks I've watched my times, felt how my body was reacting/feeling on long runs, and I've noticed some consistency to where I may have what it takes to qualify.  (For me to qualify for Boston a lot depends on age....if my BQ time is my age the day of the Boston Marathon I have a much better shot than if it's my time is based on my age when I run the Chicago Marathon)  If I do qualify, great, 2015 here I come.  If I don't that's okay too I'll run another marathon instead, but it's another example of how my mental and physical have changed throughout this process. 
I can't stress enough how manageable and attainable a marathon can be....What's holding most people back are the negative thoughts, "I could NEVER do that!" My continued advice...Start Small! Pick a 5k and set your goals incrementally from there! 

"Anybody can be a runner. We were meant to move. We were meant to run. It's the easiest sport." -Bill Rodgers

The Dreaded Week 15

Most training programs have a high week of training.  I'm following Hal Higdon's training program and week 15 is the highest week.  In total, week 15 is 40 miles of running.  (5, 10, 5, 20)  Since signing up for the marathon in February I have been dreading this week of training wondering how I'd EVER be able to run 20 miles in one day.  Well week 15 has come and gone and so is my fear of running 20 miles in a day.   

This 20 mile run wasn't looking promising for me earlier in the week.  On my long run in week 14 I had to run 14 miles and the last 2 miles felt like I my legs couldn't support my weight.  I started to get nervous for the 20 miler.  All week even touching my shins was painful.  I did everything I could to feel better.  After finishing the 5, 10 and 5 mile runs I was feeling confident for my 20 miler...then I woke up Friday morning with awful vertigo.  As the day progressed I felt like I had a fever...sure enough, I did.  I considered holding my run off until Sunday but prepared for it to be on Saturday just in case.  Ice packs on my knees and ankles, peace of mind lotion rubbed into my temples and eucalyptus oil rubbed on my chest I went to bed.  I woke up Saturday morning feeling great...ish.  By 6:30 the sun had finally risen and I was on my way.  Sure I had some crazy pains in my legs but who wouldn't after training for 14 weeks.  My pains shifted as I ran; pain I felt going uphill was different from the pain I had on my downhills.   There were times I was wondering if I was even picking my feet up to run and there were times I felt like I could really push it.  While it was tough at times I never thought to throw in the towel.  I actually ended up doing a 21 mile run...a little extra practice and proof that I could do the full 26.2 in 3 weeks. 

After the run I had a date with my pal...the ice bath.  As I sat in there shaking and cursing I thought, "This is it!  I have done it...I made it to 20 miles!"  On race day pure adrenaline and cheering spectators will carry me through the last 6.2 miles.  I can honestly say I'm ready and pumped.  I was pleased when I saw my times.  I was able to maintain a decent avg pace that will certainly make it possible to hit my goal for the marathon.  Originally my goal was not die, then it moved to finish the marathon and finally ended at sub 4 hours. 
This afternoon I had to attend my sister's engagement party...I'll just say I may have been in a dress but I didn't look like much of a lady today.  My sister told me my walk looked like I had just gotten off a horse and each time I sat down or got up or if I went up or down stairs I yelped a bit. I am beyond tired but am fighting with myself to stay up....I'm hoping I can keep this fight going until 9.   ha ha  I think I'll be sore in the morning, but it's expected. 
While there are still 21 days until the race and plenty of runs to do, I think it's safe to say I'm ready for 10-13-13!

One and Done!?!?!

Going into this marathon Alice and I kept saying, "one and done."  She still holds firm to that belief.  I, on the other hand, am not convinced I'm done with marathons. (We'll see what happens on race day ha ha)  I don't know if this "I'll do another marathon" is really just the excitement of my 1st marathon, actually making it through the training so far, doing something I still can't believe I'm doing-successfully, or enjoying this all, but it is my current thought.  While I've had some tough times in my training, I can honestly say I've enjoyed the training process.  In fact, I'm already sad that it's almost over.  It's like Christmas or a vacation....you anticipate and build up to it and then it's gone in the blink of an eye.  Since early June I have tailored my days and activities around this marathon.  When making plans I would think about the run I had that day or the next, but it wasn't an inconvenience, it was a focus for me. 
Like with yoga, it took me a while to really learn to clear my head.  I'm finally in a place where I can be completely void of thought.  When I start a run I get into a zone where I'm completely present in the moment.  I'm not thinking of to-do lists (although I love them), work, etc. I've also learned to really listen to my body and I'm getting good and figuring out what I need and what I can handle.  With my head being clear I'm finding I'm more relaxed and have better form.  Better form has led to fewer injuries and better times.  Prior to being able to clear my head I would finish a run stressed out because I was thinking of a million things, my jaw and shoulders would be tense from everything I was thinking about, and I wouldn't enjoy my runs.  (Don't get me wrong, there are times when I am completely dying on a run and hating every minute-see my post "DNF," but I'm aware of why since I'm paying more attention to myself as a runner)  I never thought I'd say it, but I'm a runner!  (Not one of those weird runners tho ha ha!)
I want to enjoy my last few weeks of training so I'm really trying to stay present in my training (when I'm not running) instead of looking at the end and how I'm sad it's almost done. 
It's funny how my thinking has changed as my training progressed.  In the beginning, training for 18 weeks seemed like a lifetime.  Going on a 14 mile run scared me, now they're "nothing."  Week 15 seemed like a goal I'd never get to and here it is.
I honestly believe if you believe in yourself you can run a marathon.  I can't say it enough....small bites-nobody is asking you to get up one day and run 26.2 miles.  Following a program helped me stay focused and made training foolproof.  Just when you think you can't handle another long run you drop down your mileage for a week and gain back your confidence and then you're fine again!  On my 18 mile run last week I felt amazing!  After it was done, I really thought I could do another 8.2 miles-I never thought I could/would EVER say that when I was starting the training!  Training for this marathon has taught me a lot about myself and what I'm really able to do.  (I won't start getting sentimental yet...but get ready for it when I finish! ha ha)

So as it stands, "One And Done" doesn't look to be true for me.  I kind of have my sights set on The Great Wall Of China Marathon.  We'll see! 

"If you keep it at, one day something which at first appeared impossible will become merely something very difficult indeed." Danny Paradise

Just Keep Swimming.....Err Running

With a disaster of a run Saturday, a 3 mile "make-up" run Sunday I left week 12 behind me ready to move forward and conquer new challenges. For week 13 my new challenge is working while training. I was in school for a few weeks in the beginning of training but the mileage then and now are two completely different things. As I entered week 13 I felt tired. I'm finding my Monday runs are tough. They are the shortest run of the week and maybe it's the mentality of "it's only 4" has me thinking is a whatever run and therefore it's tough. Today was a 9 mile run and my 2nd day back to work. (Yes, I worked all summer waitressing, but it's not the same. I'm tired when I go back to teaching on a regular, not training for a marathon, year this year is crazy.) A 9 mile run should take a little less than 1 1/2 hours and generally I run in the mornings. Today getting up at 5:00am to run 9 miles was not happening so I was forced to work all day then run. It was a disaster of a day with little issues popping up left and right and I stayed later than I expected. I left work exhausted and overwhelmed I found myself looking forward to my run so I could destress a bit. My run did just that. Each step I took gave me a greater sense of accomplishment and positive energy. I must have had some extra negative energy to burn off because there were parts of my run where I flew effortlessly (and no, I wasn't going downhill ha ha). I was pleased at how great I felt; it was a huge difference to how I felt Saturday. Maybe all the stress I had at work today was a actually a good thing...it gave me energy I didn't think I had. My stress gave me a purpose and in the end, gave me the positive feeling I need to get me excited for my 18 mile run on Saturday. I was worried that while I said "no negative thoughts" that some would creep in....no at all!

The past few weeks have been really tough at times. My mileage is increasing and my available time is decreasing, but with only 38 days until race day I have my eye on the prize and I can't back down!

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" (well running) :)

"Running is one the best solutions to a clear mind." Sasha Azevedo

DNF....The 3 Worst Letters To A Runner

DNF describes my 12 mile drop down long run for training week 12. 

I don't think I mentioned it in my blog but in June I went to the ER because I had numbness/pain down my left arm and and was having a lot of pain/difficulty breathing.  To boot, it had been ridiculously humid and putting it all together was the perfect storm making it look like I was having a heart attack....it was a pinched nerve in the perfect spot-ooops and ughhh!

Flash forward through the summer.  I had been waking up with weird shoulder/back pain but nothing like the night I went to the ER and nothing I couldn't deal with.  Saturday morning wasn't unlike any other morning.   I got up at regular time and made myself go back to bed because I had worked a long day the previous day and wasn't in a rush to go anywhere.  I finally got up, hydrated, "ate" and was ready to get running by 9:00.  I set out on my run and felt a lot of pressure/pain in my shoulder/neck but pushed through.  I also was sweating waaaaay more than normal and was finding each step laborious and awful.  Then came the chills...CHILLS!!!  It was insane heat and humidity and I was running yet I had chills!  I thought about how some runs start off tough but get better as you go and tried to let that push me...no such luck!  This was NOT happening.  Each mile seemed like 5 and at the 6 mile mark instead of saying "I'm 1/2 way there" I was saying, "shit, IDK if I can do another 6."  I pressed on....I knew where I had planted water/Gatorade and I knew I needed them badly.  (I usually keep a small water with me and barely touch it for the at least 5 miles...today it was gone by mile 3)  I got to the spot where I planted a water, but it was GONE!!!!!!   I thought maybe I was in the wrong spot...NOPE!  I was were I needed to be and my water was gone.  I'm not usually this hard up for a drink, but I was today with all the humidity.  I decided to talk myself up and down several more hills until my next hidden Gatorade.  Thankfully it was there, but it wasn't enough.  I knew something was really wrong today.  I tired to talk myself up but it wasn't working.  I tried to push all negative thoughts out of my mind, but it was more than that.  I was light headed/dizzy, dehydrated, having breathing pain, unable to really take a deep breath, with the chills AND I was 3.5 miles from home.  I got to the 9 mile mark and knew I was going to pass out if I kept going.  I did the unthinkable....I threw in the towel and called my parents!  From the time I called them until they picked me up I thought it best to keep walking (mostly bec. I feared passing out in the rd)  I made it to about mile marker 10.5. 
When my parents got to me, they put me in the car and took me to their house.  I felt like the night they had to take me to the ER.  I started to legitimately worry I was going to end up in the hospital again.  I pounded a water they had for me and continued to shake with chills and sweat like I've never sweat before.  I stayed outside (AC would have been too much for me) and fell asleep, in minutes, on some patio furniture.  I'd get up drink some water and re-evaluate my pain.  Also during this time I went from thinking I was really smart for knowing my body and stopping because it was too much to thinking I was a quitter and should have kept going.  I am very hard on myself and the quitting still has me upset the next day even though I know stopping was the right thing to do.  I slept most of the day Saturday, but did have to work at night.  I had aches, pains, fatigue greater than after my 16 mile run, heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, and a cranky attitude for quitting and for letting it bother me so much.  All in all it was a terrible run/day.  The scariest part was the dehydration.  I drank, easily, a gallon of water from the time my parents picked me up until 6:00pm.  I used the bathroom at 8am and didn't go again until 6:30pm-scary and unhealthy? Yes, but having that happened confirmed I REALLY was unable to finish that run and would have really hurt myself if I had. 
All night the OCD in me continued to be int he back of my mind saying, "you skipped 3 miles, Kelly" and while normal people say, "that's ok..you can even skip a training run here and there" I said, "You're getting up tomorrow and running those 3 miles you skipped."  Maybe it was against better judgement, but I had to....I got up this morning and struggled through a 3 mile run.  I can now, officially say, I have fully completed my 12th week of training!   I am 2/3 done with this training!  Am I still in pain? Yes, but the training must go on.  I'm taking it easy, but I have to keep going and gear up for my 18 mile run on Saturday....only positive thoughts for me moving forward! 

There will be more ups and downs I'm sure but in my head the end justifies the means....43 more days until race day!